Useless Knowledge

Working at SBLB has turned me into a dictionary of completely useless information. I know all kinds of weird details about things that don't matter to anyone else but me, yet I feel compelled to share them with people, to prove that I know these things that no one else knows. It's just that I am quite certain that I'm never going to have the opportunity to, say, be at a party where someone runs into the room, shouting desperately, "Quick! I need Chicago's area code, STAT!" And I come to the rescue, standing up, announcing, "Worry no more. The area code you are looking for is 773." This would be met with looks of gratitude, possibly applause, maybe even free beer, and exclaimations like, "Wow! That's amazing! How did you know?! What ELSE do you know, Phonebankx?!"

Then I will graciously bestow my knowledge upon the Little People, so that they, too, may benefit from its power.

I will tell them that Mastercard account numbers or card numbers always start with a 5, and that Visa always starts with a 4.

I will tell them that...

...

Really, are those two nuggests of knowledge the only things I would have to share with the laymen? That's even more pathetic than I thought.