How Not to Talk to Me on the Phone

I'm aware that this blog is turning into a giant daily rant, but whatever.



This is what NOT to do when you call a bank with a problem (paraphrased from an earlier call today):



"Hi, um, my name is Suzie Smith and I ordered this thing off this informercial like a retard and they charged me and that was fine, and then it overdrew me, which was fine, I paid it, but then they kept charging me and now I don't know what to do because I ordered it off the infomercial and I tried to call them with the number that you all gave me, and they wouldn't answer, I just kept talking to this robotic person but no real human ever came on and so I don't know what to do, because I don't even know why they're charging me, but they did it again, and I don't know what to do. The first charge is ok but I don't know why they keep charging my card--"



Me: "Ok! We can dispute the charges. Which charge is the one that you authorized?"


"Well, they charged me the one time, but when I tried to call them, no one ever answered, I could never get a hold of anybody there, and they just kept charging me, and I don't know why, so I don't know what to do now because you guys keep charging me overdraft fees when they charge me. I don't know why they're still charging me, I should have never ordered anything off the TV. I just keep getting these overdraft--"



Me: "THAT'SFINEWECANDISPUTETHETRANSACTIONSANDTHEOVERDRAFTFEES WHICHCHARGEISTHEAUTHORIZEDONEPLEASE?"



"Well I don't really remember I mean they just kept doing it so I don't really know, I mean, it was like 2 months ago I think? Maybe--"


You get the idea.