Requirements to Open an Account at SBLB

1. Must have limited to no knowledge about bank accounts or how they work
2. Must be illiterate, at least during the times when it would be beneficial to read things like terms and conditions, or statements, or any other correspondence from the bank
3. Must have severe attitude problem
4. Must agree to only call bank when one of the following applies:

-While on cell phone in an area without good recption
-Screaming baby in background
-With a complicated problem while being in a hurry
-Without any account information whatsoever
-In a really bad mood

5. Customer required to be unaware of their complete address
6. Must be under the impression that knowing their own social security number means that they can get any information they want or need from the bank
7. Must be able to talk for 7 minutes straight, repeating his or herself several times while asking questions to the call center rep without allowing them to answer.

Apply within.