Call Center Slut

When I worked for a fairly popular photo lab/camera store in my teens and into my early twenties, I noticed that the majority of my coworkers in the lab portion of the store had either already worked for a different photo lab, or left to accept a job at a different one. We were Photo Lab Sluts. There seemed to be no other job we could do, or were brave enough to do. We were lazily content with our 8-hour days of printing 100 rolls of strange, useless, and sometimes pornographic customer film, boxing it up, and selling it back to them. We were accustomed to re-doing multiple prints because "the sky doesn't look blue enough, I swear it was way bluer when I was there," and politely not making eye contact with the "gentleman" who came in once a week with multiple rolls of film of his elderly girlfriend peeing on fire hydrants. We didn't know how to do anything else and were terrified of venturing into other lands, like places with offices, or, god forbid, freelancing with no promise of a weekly paycheck.

People in the lab that I worked in were sometimes there full-time and spent their free time drinking with employees from other labs in the district (like me), or they were also students at prestigious art schools, majoring in photography (also me, a few years later). The funny thing was, the people that graduated from these schools didn't bother looking for better employment afterward. Some people had masters degrees in photography or art or art history, and contentedly spent their days as a lab rat, making no more than $9.00/hr. No one wanted to join the real world and use their degrees, even though $9.00/hr wouldn't pay for half of their student loans after the grace period (do you know how expensive art schools are?!).

The same can be said for call centers.

In either of the two centers I've worked in, there were at least a couple fellow trainees that were call center veterans. They'd worked for a computer company in their help desk department, for a different bank, perhaps a check company, maybe even a short stint as a telemarketer.

In my current class, there are two of us. Whereas I worked for Big Bank, Jeanette worked for Other Big Bank, in their call center. Another of our fellow trainees (Near Retirement Laid-Off Stereotype) worked for another large financial institution in their call center, specializing in stocks and bonds.

It seems that Our Type just can't get enough.

We are the Call Center Sluts.

Jeanette and I often trade battle stories on smoke breaks and, for some reason, our trainer seems fascinated by the fact that two other trainees have experience with our two biggest competitors and constantly asks us questions.

"We will reverse fees relating to the new policy with the ATM deposit cut-off, because that's understandable. I bet you guys didn't reverse anything at Big Bank and Other Big Bank, though, huh?"

"I hear that Big Bank's training classes have, like, 25 people each, and the class is in a big, beautiful classroom. Is that true?"

(The answer to both questions is "no," but that's beside the point.)

Apparently, both Big Bank and Other Big Bank have reputations around SBLB.

Anyway. As hard as I try to understand why anyone would willingly subject themselves to Life in a Call Center for longer than absolutely necessary to work their way up in the company or perhaps earn "experience" in the industry the call center exists in, I think I may have figured it out.

While everyone who works in a call center and actually quits at some point declares with fervent certainty that they will "NEVER work in another call center EVER again," they realize that their experience in that call center (any call center, really) pretty much guarantees them a job in any call center ever created for the rest of their lives.

Not to mention, call centers are an incredibly structured workplace, which is favorable among some people, and since they don't expect you to enjoy your job in the slightest, they allow more absences than any other job you have ever held. Because of the high turnover in most call centers, they also pay more than $10/hr (usually more in most centers) as an incentive. For the average single 20-something, recent layoff victim, or previously under-employed single mother, this is reason enough to apply, and stay.

To backtrack a second here: Strangely, while the Powers That Be declare previous call center experience to be a plus, they fail to tell you that it really doesn't matter at all. If you are reasonably competent at speaking out loud and can form something vaguely resembling a sentence while attempting to maintain a positive voice tone, they will hire you. Nothing else matters. Call centers are so notorious for their high turnover that they can't afford to be picky. Typically, the more intelligent and ambitious the call center employee, the sooner they will go AWOL in search of greener pastures.

...Of course, there are exceptions. I like to consider myself to be one, but perhaps time will prove otherwise.